Acceptance

Acceptance is supposedly the “last stage” of grief. I believe that is true to some extent.

Over the past month, but last night in particular I felt acceptance, like true acceptance, not the fake it till I make it type. I feel peace.

Yes there were some hard days and there still will be, but I am so thankful.

I’m thankful that God gave me time with her, even though it was short.

I’m thankful I can learn from her selflessness and kindness

I watched home movies last night and felt a calmness and no tears, it felt different, but a good different. Now when I read her letter and hear stories I am not overwhelmed by the pain but overwhelmed by her willingness to give up herself for me. Her selflessness.

Part of me felt like I would forget her if I was not grieving or if I did not feel sad every day. Someone recently showed me that is not true….

Seeing her picture, remembering the happy times, and talking about her is good. I just realized, 17 years later, that doing this is the way it is supposed to be.

Just because I am going through this right now does not mean I will always be okay. There will still be tough days…

but…..

Right Now…..

Is Peaceful.

Finally.